Random Thoughts Applied

Check out

2009-10-15T17:00:00.005-04:00

I thought I would give wordpress a try. I don't know if I like it any better, however this is where you can check out information on the ministry and happenings at Indiana, Pa:
www.jamesandallyson.wordpress.com

Morning with Biology Bob

2007-10-12T09:09:00.001-04:00

Yes it has been awhile. Yes I no longer have internet connection in my apartment...therefore blogger has become a moment in history. Yet I am coming back for a short visit to tell a story or maybe two, and possibly convince you and myself that this will occur again sooner rather than later.

This morning I woke up at 6 am, partially awake I sat in my bed waiting for my roommate to get out of the bathroom (she usually is up and out by 6:30 to open at the coffeehouse, me I am up at 8 or 9 because I close the shop quite frequently). Once I step out of my room she looked at me and said "wow you seem quite perky today!" In shock I said "Really, I don't feel that awake..how are you...maybe I am awake... I do this in the morning...i'm chatty I guess...hmm...maybe I should stop talking...o i 'm getting in the shower...nice to see you ........"

The reason why I awoke so early is to meet a Biology Professor at the shop to talk about my Seattle trip. One this was supposed to happen in the summer and never did and two we rarely talked about my trip and chatted for an hour and a half about life, education, family, cities, and ect ect.. I sat with an americano, a raspberry muffin , and great conversation. Nancy warned Bob [the biology prof] that morning before I came in. She apparently told him " Bob, I have to warn you, Al is awake but she is extremely chatty!"

This is why I love this shop sometimes. The conversations that ensue and the ability to sit with a prof and talk about life. I think at such a major university town this would not have happened as easily. And for some reason I still have energy running through me; which is odd because I went to bed at 2:00 am. Weird.

Oh the smells of coffee and roasting in the morning. This is a lovely way to start the day as I sit in the shop and type on this machine. Good times.

Updates and Thoughts from Seattle

2007-08-04T13:48:00.000-04:00

Seattle was absolutely wonderful. I walked through Pike Place quite a bit, drank coffee a bit more, and had amazing conversations with my brother all the while. I could not ask for more during that time except for more time. This is my favorite picture

We even stayed in the Olympic National Park for two nights. I wish the rain would of held off and the midst would have cleared when we went up to Hurricane Ridge to see the view--yet all we saw were thick clouds of gray and white. It was still nice.

My favorite part of Seattle became these tiny gardens that are sporadically placed throughout the city. When we walked to my brother's school we passed one quite frequently. He explained that you could purchase a small plot/square and garden whatever you'd like. Next to these particular green spaces were tiny houses that the city rented out to writers for a cheaper rate. I think it is a great way to bring gardens into the city and pull small communities together. Plus anyone from the city could just randomly walk though these gardens and enjoy the artistry. It was fascinating.

Until Next Time...

a caveat: My posts have been few and far between. After moving I have realized my internet is only supplied through the coffee shop I work at now. Therefore I must make a conscious effort to write random posts.

Off I Go

2007-07-09T18:36:00.001-04:00

Items still need homes, boxes need to be emptied, clothes need to be put into the goodwill: all the reactions to moving from one place to another. I think there is more mental upheaval than anything else.

I made a list of items today that I am going to put in my red duffel bag and shove in my black day pack. These clothes, shoes, books, etc will be in tight living spaces as I travel to Seattle in a day or two. I'm finally going to the west coast to a city that is one of many that I hope to visit one day! I believe I'm more excited though to spend the time with my brother and take walks around the city. Some of the few plans we have thus far is : 1. Going to the wharf and watching them toss fish 2. Seeing Patty Griffin play in concert at the zoo 3. Going to Mount Rainier or Olympic National Park 4. Driving to Portland to see the coast 5. Eating cheap food 6. Maybe seeing Damien Jurado play at a local bar 6. the rest is up to chance!

I'm nervous to fly on my own, to get a bus, get on a Greyhound, be an adult. But I'm excited to be in a new place and experience the city that I hear over and over again "Al you will love Seattle!"

These Tiny Rooms

2007-06-25T19:55:00.000-04:00

I'm packing up all my belongings. Little by little this place is no longer home. It was almost a year ago that I found this tiny apartment, almost a year ago that I entered this town and started my life in a brand new place. Looking back I remember the days upon days that I wept uncontrollably. I remember being alone in this apartment, afraid, and adjusting to everything new. I look back and laugh cause I remember the moments where I danced, wrestled with scripture, talked out loud to myself and God, and sat upon my roof with cups of tea.

It is strange to hear me say that I am going to miss this little place; where the ceiling is seven feet high and the stove is two feet wide. It is sad to leave this place because I feel that it knows my struggles and joys. I know that the new house will prove to be a challenge, a blessing, a struggle, and a wonderful change. It will know my struggles and joy and thankfully so will another human being. I can talk to someone else and not just the walls around me. This will be good and yet I still and must morn all the things I wish I would have done here: sit on the roof more often and walk up the hill behind my house to see the sun set a bit more.

Goodbye tiny apartment with it's tiny rooms and small wall compartments that I loved. Goodbye and thank you for treating me so well over the course of a very hard year.

Griffin

2007-06-22T10:30:00.000-04:00

This particular song has been on repeat for the past couple of days. I am currently planning to speak tonight at a fellowship group. I was asked to speak on Hebrews 11, one of my favorite passages in scripture. I believe this song has some powerful resemblance to the text, I believe that the civil rights movement (referencing the MLK piece in the title and the meaning within the song) has a heavy parallel to what faith is and what it means to live. Maybe I'll explain it better tonight and more on here when I have time. But if you could take a listen, this song is located on myspace:

"Up To The Mountain (MLK Song)" By Patty Griffin

I went up to the mountain
Because you asked me to
Up over the clouds
To where the sky was blue
I could see all around me
Everywhere
I could see all around me
Everywhere

Sometimes I feel like
I've never been nothing but tired
And I'll be walking
Till the day I expire
Sometimes I lay down
No more can I do
But then I go on again
Because you ask me to

Some days I look down
Afraid I will fall
And though the sun shines
I see nothing at all
Then I hear your sweet voice, oh
Oh, come and then go, come and then go
Telling me softly
You love me so

The peaceful valley
Just over the mountain
The peaceful valley
Few come to know
I may never get there
Ever in this lifetime
But sooner or later
It's there I will go
Sooner or later
It's there I will go

Visual DNA (?)

2007-06-20T10:49:00.000-04:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

New(s) Breifs ?

2007-06-14T10:29:00.000-04:00

Laughing at my brother's post the other week, this news-brief caught my attention. It's sort of funny but kind of makes some sense.
_____________________________________________________________

Looking at BBC news, which I think is great, you can click on the countries that you want to find the latest news and headlines. It's interesting to look at America and see headlines like the the one above, technology and how to stay safe from hackers, and how money talks. Then you can read about the latest fad, spoiled toothpaste, ect ect. It's quite interesting to then link to other countries and read headlines like: Army 'kills' Nigerian militants, Mass rescue of 'slaves' in China, or various others. It's true, I can pick and choose what headline I decide to link and maybe there are everyday life things in these other countries that are just as senile or even beautiful like those in America.

My 'good friend' stated today that "all blogs are bias" ...I must agree. So here is another bias blog to fill your bias mind on what is in the headlines in America and other countries. How we emphasize money, fame, and technology and other places emphasize war, bombings, slaves, and leaders. Not to say that other countries don't portray what we do....but I must keep with my blogging one-sidedness.

What have you seen in the news lately?

Playfulness

2007-06-12T16:52:00.000-04:00

I took my work to the park yesterday. It was the perfect temperature to sit outside and get work done without being distracted by my computer, my music, or my phone. I sat next to the lake where it was almost empty because everyone else was at their appropriate place of work; except some high school students who where cussing fish left and right as they carried their fishing poles all around the lake.

After work, I moseyed down the road. I passed a picnic that was mainly made up of Elderly people, I desperately wanted them to offer me some of their hot dogs and burgers. I wanted to talk with them and join in the conversation, or make conversation for that matter. I daydreamed about that scenario for a bit of my walk. Then I reach my goal....

I put my bag down and sat in the swing. Looking slightly to my right I saw the sun hitting off the lake and the hillside....I swung as high as I could go before I got slightly dizzy (that happens to me a lot). It was great fun and I felt like I was four years old again.

I believe this needs to happen more often. We need to play more. I swung and pondered this concept of play and how it restores us. There is something really important to swinging on swings and daydreaming of scenarios. Of chuckling at yourself and having fun in the process.

Goodbye Junior

2007-06-05T11:43:00.000-04:00

So I am suppose to be doing a lot of work right now. But as everyone knows it is mandatory and inevitable that we will always be distracted, even if it is self-inflicted. So be it.

In my distractions this early afternoon, I wanted to post about a new purchase and another dull step into adulthood. Yes I traded in Junior (as I so lovingly called my blue ford focus) for a Subaru Impreza Sport, 05'. Junior was not a Jr. anymore, quite the opposite. He was becoming a feisty old man who sporadically staled on me a few times, decided to no longer provide air conditioning, and did not want to cruise with his cruise control. There are a myriad of other issues that Junior was developing and in that I decided he needed to go elsewhere on his journeys with, of course, a blessing. I did like that little blue guy. He was faithful and diligent. In his formation of arthritis I did not want to hurt him anymore. So we parted ways, it was a sad moment in history. Me and him go way back, there are a lot of memories there...

So I was at the dealership deciding whether or not to make the trade. Key phrase, "I was still deciding", when in fact my father went there with full intentions to make the trade...period. There was a LARGE list of "how's" running through my head. Like, How am I going to be able to pay for this? or How come we need to pay with money, can't I barter or something!? Anyway..the deal was done and I'm sending my check in the mail today. These things make me nervous, especially when it happens so quickly. I am learning about down payments and upfront payments and blah blah blah....

I told my mother I can't wait to go to heaven, and not be so burdened by money and these things. She said "I can wait for you to go to heaven!" I was touched, but assured her that I meant, " I can't wait for us all to be in heaven together".... later in retelling that story to my father, she added a piece by saying "I can wait for you to go to heaven, I don't want you leaving us all your car payments!"

There it is. Now I need a new name for my silver Subaru.... any thoughts? It took me five yrs to name Junior. Maybe he will remain nameless for awhile, until something memorable happens.

For But A Moment

2007-05-28T22:40:00.000-04:00

I just got back from taking a sudden road trip to Corry, Pa with three of my very good friends. It was us, music, conversation, and the road. We arrived to a weekend of relaxation and refreshment. Have you ever visited someplace where times does not seem to exists? Where circumstances and life seems to pause for but a moment. yeah.

Arts Fest Buzz

2007-05-16T16:55:00.000-04:00

The word concerts came to my mind twice this morning. And in the midst of this I thought of how much money I have I then thought of the Arts Fest and it's "freeness" and entirety.

My friend Jason has posted about the Three Rivers Arts Festival and in my excitement and hopes of making it down to Pittsburgh I wanted to share. I don't know how pumped I am for the musical artists that are coming in but I think that Martin Sexton's performance may be worth a shot:

Sat, June 2

Martin Sexton
with special guest Jon Check at 6pm

And this "Swoon!" performance looks some what intriguing:

Swoon! June 14-17 @ PPG Place

Are there any days that some of you may definitely go to? Anything that I should keep my ear and eyes attuned to? How about other good concerts that are going on, I don't think Club Cafe has a good selection thus far....? Or how about Concerts in the Park at Hartwood Acres?

Apologies

2007-05-12T11:19:00.000-04:00

For those of you who checked my blog, about two days ago, I want to post an apology. Apparently my coconut oil post below was embedded with an image that I deleted immediately. I just wanted to add a small picture of a coconut to enhance the blog post. So for those of you who think of me as some sick-o, I am not, the picture was embedded with pornography and all I saw was a coconut...there was a time lapse and then "another" picture popped up. I do not and never will promote porn.

Thanks to some friends of mine who brought the matter to my attention. I deleted the image immediately... For those who have no clue what I'm talking about, I can hear you laughing a bit...it's ok to mock me, but just be glad you have no clue what I'm talking about.

You Put the Lime in the Coconut and You Stir Them Both Up

2007-05-09T19:09:00.000-04:00

"People on the island of Bougainville in Papua New Guinea have found their own solution to high energy prices - the humble coconut.... They are developing mini-refineries that produce a coconut oil that can replace diesel."

Coconut Power

Diving in Dumpsters

2007-05-07T23:06:00.000-04:00

Did a little dumpster diving tonight. It is amazing to see what students throw away. Lamps, fans, nice material, rugs, shelving units...etc. One of my students said that she got a desk, and another switched his own desk for the one that was outside the dumpster because it was nicer than his own. One year they got a laptop and brand new Timberland shoes!

Anyways, I was a bit disappointed tonight with the selection. We did not get that much, and yet maybe that is a relief that there was not too much good stuff tossed as garbage. It is sad to see that we just throw these things away. And then again I sat for four hours on Sunday, at home, going through all the 'junk' that I have saved since I was practically born. Sometimes you have to part with the marbles you've kept since second grade...you just have to close your eyes and tell your mother "do it, just throw them away, I can't look."

How do we conserve things and yet at the same time live the simple life? How do we distribute these good and not just thrown them away?

ps. dumpster diving is to be done at your own risk,, I am not encouraging or discouraging it...just looking at how we waste and hoard "stuff". Around college dormitories you honestly never know what you can dig up, or even if it is worth it. We didn't go to far in, but I could only imagine.

The Dance of Closing

2007-05-03T15:05:00.001-04:00

We got a X M Satellite Radio today in the shop. It's official and playing right now as I speak, I hope, I heard it earlier in their today when I was to meet a student.

So tonight, I go, I close, I listen, and hopefully the shop will be somewhat busy as students pack up to leave for home and put in a a few more finals. I may be making MANY MANY milkshakes and Esspresso Chocolate Shakes (they are yummy, I must say). And some of you know how I feel about this.... (I'm getting over it!!)

Either way, I hope that as I close I can find a station that is "close worthy"...this is very important for a closer in any type of business. I need to find something that doesn't 1. creep me out 2. cause me to fall asleep in the middle of mopping or 3. cause me to sing and dance so much that I forget that I am even closing. It would be nice to have something upbeat enough, dance-able enough, and sing-along worthy enough. But I am not going to be picky here, no, no...

no.

Street Art

2007-05-01T00:40:00.000-04:00

the Wooster Collective

Can I buy the sun?

2007-04-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

I remember my friend telling me he called the star agency and asked them if he could buy the sun. The lady on the line told him that there are millions of other stars, and that the sun is not for sale. He asked why? She just said that it was not. He asked if they owned the stars? She said they sell them. And he asked again if he could buy the sun because it is a star. When he didn't get the answer he was looking for he asked to speak to the manager. They had a long conversation about why the sun is not for sale and about why they own the stars when in reality they don't...

This story fragmented into my head the other day when my boss walked in and said we cannot have any more open mic's in the shop because this place called and said that they can slap a fee on top of the business, basically they can sue us and we have to waive the fee in court and prove that we did not play any of their music. They do not even have to step foot into our shop to press charges because apparently "EVERY store/business in America plays their music at LEAST once a year." (that's very prideful)

My question is whether or not artists receive any money from their songs? Plus, now, how do we foster musicians to be musicians if a local business has to pay ridiculously large sums of money for a licensing fee?

It just seemed to me that money was more important than being an aid to foster musicians to create. Just like the numerous starts in the sky, do we have a right to sell these? Are the stars seeing the money that has sold them to other's loved ones?

...

Light Hearted

2007-04-18T21:46:00.000-04:00

Makes me Sick to the Stomach

2007-04-17T16:48:00.000-04:00

Sadness

Just for Starters

2007-04-11T12:58:00.000-04:00

So.... in theory all of your CD's, Mp3 Files, or any other existing files that holds some type of music disappears. Basically they become irretrievable! You are able to, at this point, only pick up FIVE Cd's to start building your collection again:

1. WHAT FIVE CD'S WOULD YOU START WITH?

Lets apply this to literature as well. Say everything that is in written form becomes instantaneously lost....

2. WHAT FIVE PIECES OF LITERATURE WOULD YOU START WITH?

As a caveat: I understand that music and literature are not the most important, nor should they be, vital to daily life. They add to the richness of who we are as people, the ability to create, and foster growth. I think these two, at least for me, speak a lot into where are culture is, where it was, and where it is going. Literature and Music are beautiful and should be sought after yet not idolized or worshiped. Now we can carry on...

Easter

2007-04-08T21:58:00.000-04:00

I fail to reflect on this day. I get caught up in the frustration with family; the beauty of homemade pasta, meatballs, stuffed peppers, etc.; the loud yelling of my relatives (we are Italian); the poor coffee and excellent homemade wine; and the long drive back home.

I fail to reflect on what this day truly means. On the very truth that it is a day that symbolizes the very essence of why I am living!

Last year I sat in a study with eight other individuals and around this time we decided to stop studying 1 John for a stint and look at John's account of Jesus' last days on earth. We picked and prodded at the text, we looked at the parallels of the Old Testament blood sacrifice and blood covenant, at the events that lead up to His death, at what was going on between the Romans and the Jews, and at the details that often times get overlooked when we read through this account.

I loved it. I loved soaking up the details and seeing parallels to the Old Testament. I miss being there, of being challenged through these people. This is my reflection, an end to another Easter. Time with family is sweet and bitter all at the same time, strangely enough I see the same two words going into this time in history. And so the day is about over and I am about to retire. It was nice to reflect for but a moment.

Thank You and Goodnight.

EDIT: This should not be a "holiday" nor a one time reflection. It should be daily and foundational to everything we live and breathe. soak it in

The Day Off...

2007-04-06T20:08:00.000-04:00

I started this day with a friend from College, we sat over breakfast and reminisced...or at least I did. She is still in college and I just longed to be back there for a moment in time. It was nice.

Then I set to the task of doing laundry and downloading 40 songs from eMusic. A friend of mine gave me his songs for the month as a gift and also he said, in his words exactly, "i'm sure you could use all 80 before you think twice." It's true... but it is a stressful task to think of 40, let alone 80 songs. Stressful b/c I have to narrow everything down to what I want and get the best for the gift I have been given. Thanks to Jason Panella I was able to get some ideas and the push I needed to start. THANKS Jason!

So this is what I have decided to get:

M.Ward, Post-War

Elvis Perkins, Ash Wednesday

Neko Case, song: Sparrow
Neko Case played at Festival of Faith and Music o7', I decided to download Sparrow because I remember her performance and this song stuck with me. Something about the way she held her voice was beautiful. Jason has a great video and summary of her performance here.

The Decemberists, songs: Everything I Try To Do, Nothing Seems To Turn Out Right; Pt.I/Pt.II/Pt.III/Pt.IV/Pt.V

Andrew Bird, song: Self-Torture

Now, you see, I potentially have 40 more songs to go for next month....I do think though, that my friend (*cough you know who you are) should widen his music interests and use these 40 songs for himself. So if you have any suggestion of MUST HAVE songs or cd's PLEASE PLEASE let me know... I have a list that is a mile long, but I am having a hard time shortening it and if you can't shorten it why not ADD to it?!

.

My Weekend

2007-04-02T16:56:00.000-04:00

The Bomb Diggity

2007-03-21T20:43:00.000-04:00

I was at the shop today when a regular came in. He is an international student that comes quite frequently to the shop. Today he happened to be all dressed up for one of his classes. I commented on his attire saying, "You look nice today, all dressed up..." Linda, the lady that I was working with, also commented on his attire. I went to wash dishes as they continued to have this conversation about how nice he looked. I heard her then say "The word that I would use would be 'spiffy', but that is an old person word." I retorted saying "I still use that word!" ...

Than bantering of word usage went back and forth. All for the purpose of giving this young gentleman an appropriate English word for his vocabulary.

I said he should use the English word "nice"
Linda asked what was hip for a younger generation to say. Then she proceeded to use the phrase "he's the bomb"
I said "bomb-diggity"
Then Nancy,another worker who was sitting down, chimed in saying other various words.
I said "phat, like p-h-a-t", Nancy laughed really loud and copied my "west-side" hand movements and Linda just repeated "phat"

At one point I finished the dishes and joined in the conversation at the counter. In the corner of my eye I saw other patrons laughing and glancing up at us. One, who was in the other corner of the room chimed in and added a few words that his friends use in Philly, such as "pimped" and "jazzed".

We settled on "jazzed" cause Linda liked it a lot.

There is something about this scene that caused me to truly laugh out loud and love what and why I am doing what I am doing. A place that causes people to join in and be a part of the conversation.

Gathering the Brains while Laughing

2007-03-20T23:34:00.000-04:00

I must edit some of the wordage in my last post, I agree that my vocab was bit off. Being a tradesman is not "mindless labor." Dave in the comment below (from my previous post) made a good point and I agree quite strongly.

I think I made a lot of assumptions about this trip at large. One that I would be so lifting, shoveling, and running around in crazy circles all week. I thought that the labor side of the trip would be so intense that I would be sore all over. Instead I painted a lot, climbed a few ladders, did some roof painting and patch work, and yeah. It wasn't what I was used to or wanted out of a "missions" trip. I wanted to process, work real hard, analyze, and think about where I am with ministry, what I am doing, and why!?

I was pleasantly surprised though. I am glad that what I wanted was never stumbled upon. My abs got more of a workout than any other part of me. My brain stopped functioning, except for the hilarious side of me (which many people don't know it, but I am funny...maybe.), my tear ducts where in full function (as I cried with laughter), and I did not process, think, analyze or figure anything out--besides being reminded that I need to chill out and rest/laugh a bit more.

Only a few people can pull this side of me out. Which is interesting how some have that effect on us and others do not. Weird.

This is a filler post. But things that I am thinking about as I try to gather my brain and get back into some type of functioning order....

Ramblings about Mindless Labor and the Sorts

2007-03-07T15:12:00.000-05:00

It has been an extremely busy past couple of days. The weather is throwing me for a loop and I agree with my friend Jason; my place is cold and I am excited for spring (even though we did not really have a winter).

I will be gone for the next week or so. Going to Mississippi because the damage is still deep and families are still struggling. I'm looking forward to roofing and construction. I love doing these activities and oddly it is extremely rejuvenating for me. I think many of us have forgotten what hard labor is or how our bodies are meant to be physically fit. I'm not talking about going to the gym but more so about a way of life. It's funny how we have to schedule in exercise, schedule in breaks, schedule in downtime. I think these things happened naturally back in the day, or even now in other places across the world. Some of us have lost a piece of what labor is/was.

When I worked, doing physical labor, I tended to think more. I did that often when I shoveled tons of mulch or spreading gravel. It's a mindless job but my brain was sharp and active because of the mindlessness of the labor...and in the end it was refreshing. Same with walking everywhere, it allows one time to think and relax. Driving makes us angry at the car in front of us and causes us to scream profanities (no experience here, no no, not any...)

So off to Mississippi I go. Hopefully the warm weather will follow me back when I return. It will be my gift to all of you.

Sorry for the rambling post. But sometimes these are just as necessary as talking about art, literature, and the other. Enjoy.

EDIT: take a listen and a read. Arcade Fire came out with a new album and I think they may be on to something. It seems very dark and the lyrics seem very deep. I only heard one song though and looked on their site, so my thoughts are very elementary.

Strange Events and Weird Dreams

2007-03-03T00:21:00.000-05:00

I've just finished watching The Science of Sleep. It was a fitting, strange movie for a fitting, strange couple of days. A series of events partook in these particular days and I'm not sure if the movie is feeding into this concept, my lack of sleep, or that it is truly 12:46 in the morning.

I'll start with my frantic evening last night...open Mic night that is, at the Commonplace Coffeehouse. I am the Mistress of Ceremonies. Sounds formal and I would like to say I am awful at the task, or should I say new and un-confident. Either way, I sat in the shop nervously writing down some thoughts in order to escape the events that were about to take place. Few performers were showing up, and i didn't truly want to be there, so I shortly escaped with my tiny moleskin of a journal. It was good.

This was our second open Mic, and in all honesty it turned out pretty swell. We had an upright basses play, which was pretty much amazing. And the conversations the rest of the evening were provoking, quite insightful and educational. Now...after this, I would like to blame it on the caffeine, I went to bed and never slept. I was wide awake and full in thought after thought about what to do next. Is open Mic helpful? Does it foster community? Why is music and coffee so good together? Is it? What is missing?

I believe, when it comes to art, that we have lost a lot of creativity. Everyone is an artist, everyone is a poet...we have made everyone confident and left out no one. This can be good. However, where do we raise the bar and call people to be creative and go beyond choice words or simple phrases that can stir a crowd for a second but then cause normality to settle in once the next artists arises. Where do we cause people to think anymore and cause them to ponder the very words that drip out of our mouths and our hands. As I wrote before open Mic I said something to the effect of; art has become colorless and literature has become empty pages upon pages....

We have become so narcissistic that everyone is right and entitled to their words and thoughts and actions. We have the freedom of speech, but not the freedom to oppress. What does this mean? How do we call people to persuade their audience and swoon them, instead of offend them and call them close minded. Someone told me that we have overcompensated for pushing people to have self-esteem and in reaction have caused a lot of individually minded people who are all right. Interesting.

I was going to talk about my strange dreams last night, yet I fear they have escaped me at the moment, but I know they were obsured and realistic all at the same time. I was also going to talk about my car getting towed and so on and so on.... but alas open Mic and the Mistress of Ceremonies is finished here.

The French Bread Guy

2007-02-27T11:58:00.000-05:00

"Hi Al, this is the bread guy..."

I receive this greeting every Monday evening from the French Bread Guy. He tells me the three varieties of bread that he is making and I place my order (so far I have bought, sourdough buns, a walnut loaf, a whole wheat loaf, and soon a oregano garlic loaf). The bread will arrive Tuesday night at the Commonplace Coffeehouse. I love Tuesday nights at work. One, because my bread is coming and two, because I am able to break bread with people who are in the shop at the same time I receive my bread. I become so overjoyed I must share this wonderful bread with two or three people.

There is something about this that has and is becoming quite clear to me. Is it that bread possesses these unnamed powers? or is it that there is something about food and The French Bread Guy that naturally excites and pulls people together?

There is a student whom I order a loaf of bread for too. She comes in and pays me for her bread. Next she sits on the couch and cuts slices of bread and passes it out to anyone in the vicinity of her seat. It is a delight to look around the shop and see people strangely connected through slices of bread. I absolutely love it.

The more that I sit and work at this shop the more my definition of community is being redefined. I have become sick of the word and yet cannot get it out of my head. This bread and this concept of delivering bread is outside the normalcy of how we live today in America. Yet there is something intriguing and quite pleasant about it's delivery. Maybe it's that his little daughter decorates each bag as he bakes or that all the ingredients are natural and posses no preservatives.

With all of this to say...I love bread and enjoy the fact that a man who lives in this community is willing to drive around Indiana, Pa and deliver bread to each person on his list. What if we lived like this daily? What if there were more French Bread Guys and what if...what if we honestly spent the money and time to serve and be apart of the places we live.

Just thinking of this makes me hungry.

Mittens

2007-02-24T23:48:00.000-05:00

A lady came into the shop the other week. I complimented her mittens as I made her a nice warm hot chocolate with whipped cream on top. She was a small lady with short hair and a warm smile. She told me that she made these mittens. After she paid and she took them and had me feel how soft they were. They were soft.

I looked at her in shock....in shock that a human can actually make such beautiful mittens. She asked me what color I liked? I told her that I am a brown person (whatever that means?). She said she would make me a pair. I asked how much a pair would cost. She said that she just likes making mittens. As she walked down the hall I shouted that I would buy her a cup of coffee for such a lovely pair of mittens...I felt that this was all I could do, because she said she was going to make me mittens and charge me nothing.

Last weekend I found a box on the counter with my name inscribed on a yellow piece of paper. Inside were soft, nice, beautiful brown mittens. On the left mitten is a small threaded heart. I was told by another barista that this heart signifies the "left" hand because it is closest to your heart. What an amazing gift, all deriving from conversation and nothing that I deserved.

I love my mittens.

Maybe everyone was right....maybe.

2007-02-21T17:38:00.000-05:00

How many times have I heard, "oh...your going through the book of Hebrews...umm..." As if I am about to go build my own pyramid in a day or cure cancer. I was frustrated by this response and gathered all my resources together...be it various translations, commentaries, and web resources. I spent a week on chapter 1:1-3....hmm. Yeah Hebrews is quite a difficult book of the bible.

I would like to think of it as rich and rewarding. However, right now, I have found myself groaning (literally) in aggravation. How do I express the beautiful message of Hebrews without boring students out of their minds with fact after fact? Let alone, discerning which direction to take the passage because there is so much information packed tightly into each word!

A letter that recognizes the rich history of the Jewish tradition and the heavy plee to not ignore the salvation of Christ. That He is greater than the law, and that He is the completion/fulfillment of the law itself. The persecution that was going on at the time and the groaning of the author for the readers of this letter is so emanate in the beginning of this book. The warnings and the longings to remain steadfast...

What can we take from this? What is so deeply embedded in this book that charges us to live faithfully and longingly? Maybe people were right, this is a difficult book to work through and warm up with. But something inside pushes me to keep on kneading the passage and to challenge my students to do the same.

No Time

2007-02-20T23:34:00.000-05:00

Lots of thoughts are jumbled in my brain. It's been a looonng weekend and time is short as I have much planning in my midst. Yet here are some phrases/words to dwell upon. I hope to touch on them later, feel free to add your own thoughts/phrases/words....

Jubilee

Bread/Fresh Air

Mittens

The art of listening

Latte Art

Hebrews

Musak for the Ears

2007-02-14T20:45:00.000-05:00

I have been fascinated by NPR's Song of the Day. By fascinated I mean addicted. You are able to read a review of the artist and then listen to a song of theirs.

I started making a list (as if I do not have several thousands of those already) of the artists I am enjoying and hoping to hear more about to see if they are truly worth a cd purchase. Here is what I have thus far:

1. **Emily Haines & Soft Skeleton

2. Chris Garneau

3. Peter and the Wolf
(sort of creepy, he has played concerts in graveyards and deserted islands...)

4. Okkervil River

5. **Elvis Perkins
NPR sample

6. **M.Ward

7. Sera Cahoone

8. The Cold War Kids

9. **Soaked in Strings
NPR sample

10. Ron Sexsmith

11. **Alexi Murdoch

12. Final Fantasy
(member of arcade fire)
NPR sample

13. Gretchen Parlato

14. Jose Gonzalez

15. The Shins
(any thoughts on their new album!! I think it's pretty swell)
Trivia: what book is being held by the shins on the right hand side of the screen?

16. Joanna Newsom

17. Isobel Campbell
(former Belle and Sebastain singer)

These are NOT in any particular order
** = I really enjoy these ones!
Some of these artist I have already advocated for, but wanted to add them
The links are to the artists site, yet can also be found on NPR's!

If anyone has any thoughts on these artists let me know (like I said, I'm dwelling on these, and not completely sold on all of them). I hope you become as "fascinated" as I have. ENJOY!

Pieces of the Story

2007-02-10T10:54:00.000-05:00

I'm trying new templates. Not sure if I like this or not..... It may get a bit experimental here in the next few days.

About those random slips of paper that I was talking about earlier. Is there a correlation there to to the way we run our lives. The pieces that are so important and yet also the piles of baggage that we stack up. The stories that create who we are, the ones that we hate and yet the ones we can never truly get rid of. Sometimes I hate my story, I hate the way I consistently do certain things or the way that I think, because this story/these experiences have shaped me. Not to shift blame, but to recognize that these pieces are a part of my thinking/feeling. I don't want to get rid of them, because they are so important; however, I want to organize them so I can utilize them properly...

Pieces

2007-02-03T23:30:00.000-05:00

You know all those tiny pieces of paper that you need and yet, don't need all at the same time. Those papers that have important information on them. What do you do with them all?

I was cleaning up a bit today and have piles of random papers. They are all unrelated and yet equally important. I am unsure if I will look at any of them ever again, but if I throw them away I will definitely need them. Weird how that happens...

What do you do with your random important pieces of paper?
(I think there is a parallel here somewhere, a parallel to the way we live our lives...or at least insight to how I live mine.)

This and That in the News

2007-01-28T21:39:00.000-05:00

A South American footballer playing in the English Premiership is spending his high salary not on fast cars and big houses, but on rebuilding an entire community where he grew up.

This is the subtitle to an article I read on BBC News' website. What an amazing example of someone 'well-known' doing something with his talents and abilities, rebuilding the city that he grew up in. Take a read.

_________________________________________________________

So we want gambling in Pittsburgh? There are problems elsewhere...that would be Russia, and their issues seem like a pretty good warning and example of what could become. I know it is not all these issues are not because of gambling, but the fact that gambling is one of the very main sources they are limiting and separating from the people at large, there must be some significance to this addiction.

__________________________________________________________

And this...this just makes me super angry. I would not want to work at a coffee shop that required me to be "beautiful" whatever that means. Obviously beauty in this world is defined by the amount of money you can provoke a customer to give you and lots of makeup, because a human being without the fake face is not worth anyone's time, or anyone's vanilla latte! Give me a break...

__________________________________________________________

I should read the news a lot more often, I get ecstatic about the rebuilding of community, scared at what the future holds for us, and absolutely ticked off at what we are living in.... It's a great time (yes, I'm being slightly sarcastic) !

New What?

2007-01-22T18:27:00.000-05:00

New Urbanism. A friend of mine gave sent me this article the other week on New Urbanism. All throughout college I thought it was a well used and quite normal concept. Now that I have stepped out of Geneva and into another world I am recognizing that this type of Sociology is not as popular or well knowns as I had thought.

This article sparked a little light in me as I read it. It reminded me of Jane Jacobson "The Death and Life of Great American Cities" and her continual talk on sidewalks and the importance of. This article reminded me of the various communities I have studied and critiqued.

Is New Urbanism still a growing subject and actively being perused? I feel that in my investigation that all the attempts have ended up extremely political and money hoarding than beneficial to community living.

Where are their strong attempts/successes of New Urbanism?

Comments Below

2007-01-16T13:23:00.000-05:00

I think the comment below NEEDS a discussion. Discussion about religion and the way "our" society thinks and acts upon others especially concerning religion...

Any thoughts??

Children

2007-01-09T13:37:00.001-05:00

So I'm reading some children's books that Joel Daniel lent me. It is such a good escape from the consistent heaviness of thought that I place upon myself. Currently I am reading My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George. It is a story about a boy who runs away from home and goes to live on his great grandfather's land. I wish I knew half that facts that this boy does as he survives in the wilderness and lives off of the land. Sometimes I feel we have lost our natural instincts and no longer see the possibility of being resourceful.

Apocalypto reminds me of these innate instincts as well. A people who have extended their hands too far and have managed to destroy their land and their own people. It is an intense movie that will give you some strange dreams, and I still don't know how I feel about it. But the natural instincts of survival are clearly present within this movie.

This all makes me want to run and play in the woods...go fishing or something.

distracting thoughts and learned moments

2006-12-27T11:08:00.000-05:00

I often times think while my family is on the road to and from Pittsburgh over the holidays. Last night my father was driving, my sister as well as my mother and brother were all fast asleep and I sat with my thoughts. I tried to put some music in my ears to distract me but that only works as a catalyst sometimes.

My thoughts on memories and perfect moments in time are not all that perfect. That my pedestal that I have placed people on is really just my way of dealing with the brokenness in the world and is quite unhealthy. I'm learning how to be confident and decisive. Too many choices to make one decision drives me crazy and it happens consistently, especially now. Thoughts on what the New Year will be as I enter a new season where I need to learn to be bold and a truly a leader, as I end my first semester as a campus minister and enter into another.

Either way. I'm excited about these things: I received my favorite book "Five Smooth Stones" for Christmas and I had the ability to copy all my brothers music (with it being in the family I feel it is OK to give a listen and a copy....but not to hand out. Justification? maybe.).

ps. what do you think about Modest Mouse and their new CD?

Favorite Christmas Movie???

2006-12-21T23:25:00.000-05:00

Thirsty

2006-12-13T17:48:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting in a place where people come in and out of daily. Here I am attempting to do "ministry" I'm attempting to "network" and utilize the Third Place atmosphere and create something more.

I've recognized the relationships and the simple hellos that come in and out day to day from the counter to the tables. People are fascinating creatures. We process and strive to think about things, sometimes pointless drama and deep seeking for truths. HOW do I utilize a small local business to challenge leader, raise up doers, and point the seekers in a direction that answers the deep question that lays in each of us--why are we here?

Coffee anyone?

BlackGold

2006-11-20T12:46:00.000-05:00

Does anyone know about the documentary BlackGold? The documentary is being shown at CMU on the 2nd and 10th of December. Rumor has it that after the showing there will be some prominent people presenting the counter argument of the documentary and how it is a false representation of the coffee market/trade. I could be wrong on that, and have not found proof. Here is a blog that talks more about the festival that will be going on.

If anyone is interested or has any further information please let me know.

O' The Joys of Giving

2006-11-14T17:36:00.000-05:00

I went to Church this Sunday, one of the many Sundays where I continue to search for a place to settle into to find some community, only to be slightly disappointed. Now, to set the record straight (even if it's for my own benefit), I have seen and been in some pretty "healthy" churches. Places, despite their failures, where I have seen their ultimate goal and direction and I desire to be apart of the community. I have seen churches also fall apart and set out for the worst.

Now on this particular Sunday I found myself sitting in the church pew and gratefully greeted by an elderly women that sat next to me. In this moment I settled contently into the church pew. Now granted there was a special speaker, a man who actually grew up in the church. He told story after story about the "hilarity" of giving. About how it is a blessing/hilarious to give an offering to the church. He told good stories...

He went into a story about a family in Africa who was pushing the plow by hand, when most families use an ox. A missionary family, watching them turn up the soil, asked why they did not have an ox to do this labor. The interpreter informed them that the family belonged to the local church and as an offering they recognized they had nothing to give, so they gave their only ox as a tithe to the church that year. The missionary couple said to the family, "what a sacrifice this must have been for you" and the family said " it was not a sacrifice but a blessing!"

The preacher pulled out the verse from 2 Corinthians stating that " God loveth a cheerful giver." In this he mentioned that the original root meaning of "cheerful" is hilarity/hilarious. How are we to be hilarious givers today...?

After this they set two huge metal jugs at the bottom of the podium and asked people to come up to the front of the church with their extra "stewardly" offering as we closed with a hymn. (understand that the offering plate was already passed around early in the service).

Is this manipulative? Is it wrong to use a story to touch the heart and give people one verse from the bible and capture the hilarity of giving?

First off, I believe that using a story from Africa, as such, is way off base. We are not from Africa and we do not have an ox in our family. We live in a culture that shoves materialism in our face everyday and we accept it! What about stripping this passage down and recognizing that HERE in America, all this "stuff" that we have is not ours to begin with. To recognize there is a deeper context here than just being a hilarious giver but being a deep giver. A person that understands the bigger picture of life, rather than just giving your extra stewardly offering that day/week/month. I think the stories were good and touching, but yet I believe one word in 2 Corinthians should not be the only hard truth that I walk away with on a Sunday. Where are we developing a people to understand the depths of scripture, to get more out of the text and it's surrounding than what we can find in our daily devotionals that we buy at the local Christian book store. How are we changing and shaping a community in the context of where they are at, and causing transformation and action?

I was a little upset, as you can tell, especially the more I talk about it and marinate on the whole situation. Finding a church is really hard, which is strange in a town that dominates in churches and bars.

(granted, if you gave me a church, I would not be able to develop what I long for. It is not that I am looking for the perfect church, but a church that amidst its imperfections it is directed toward pushing its congregation to see the bigger picture and not settle into the familiarity of how things are)

Today in History

2006-11-08T09:42:00.000-05:00

On this date in:

1889
Montana became the 41st state.

1892
Former President Grover Cleveland beat incumbent Benjamin Harrison, becoming the only president to win non-consecutive terms in the White House.

1923
Adolf Hitler launched his first attempt to seize power with a failed coup in Munich, Germany, that came to be known as the Beer-Hall Putsch.

1932
New York Gov. Franklin D. Roosevelt defeated incumbent Herbert Hoover for the presidency.

1933
President Franklin D. Roosevelt created the Civil Works Administration, designed to create jobs for more than 4 million unemployed.

1942
American and British forces landed in French North Africa during World War II.

1960
Massachusetts Sen. John F. Kennedy defeated Vice President Richard M. Nixon for the presidency.
President-elect John F. Kennedy

1966
Edward W. Brooke of Massachusetts became the first black to be elected to the U.S. Senate by popular vote.

1971
The rock band Led Zeppelin released its album ''Led Zeppelin IV.''

1987
A bomb planted by the Irish Republican Army exploded as crowds gathered in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, for a ceremony honoring Britain's war dead, killing 11 people.

1988
Vice President George H.W. Bush won the presidential election, defeating Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis.

1994
Republicans gained control of the House of Representatives for the first time in 40 years and won a majority in the Senate in midterm elections.

1997
Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for the Three Gorges Dam.

2000
A statewide recount of presidential election ballots began in Florida. Vice President Al Gore telephoned Texas Gov. George W. Bush to concede the election, but called back about an hour later to retract his concession.

2000
Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final report absolving the government of wrongdoing in the 1993 siege at the Branch Davidian compound in Texas.

2004
Thousands of U.S. troops attacked the toughest strongholds of Sunni insurgents in Fallujah, Iraq, launching a long-awaited offensive aimed at putting an end to guerrilla control of the city.

2005
French President Jacques Chirac declared a 12-day state of emergency to halt France's worst civil unrest in nearly four decades.

2005
Gunmen assassinated a second lawyer in the Saddam Hussein trial in Baghdad.

Dreaming Dreams

2006-11-06T23:31:00.000-05:00

We spoke about the gifts tonight...spiritual gifts that is. The question was posed: are the gifts used in the same capacity that they were in the early church.

Paul talks about them in Corinthians, as we know, and John in Revelation talks about the two prophets who will go prophesize and then be destroyed...and after three days have air breathed back into them by God and ascend to heaven.

Can tongues still exist in full? Does speaking in tongues mean a different language, one language where all understand, or is it a prayer language? Maybe those are all different and very real.

I wonder most about dreams. About what Joel the Old Testament prophet states, and Peter restates in Acts 2 to the people that men will dream dreams and see vision. I dream...lots of dreams and I love them. They are beautiful as much as they are significant. Colors that have never existed before and parallels that are obviously more than my midnight pizza talking. Do I snub this off as my vivid imagination or do I recognize and discern what God is and has done?

There is much more to be stated here about cultural barriers to these truths and the actual "evil" power at work. Often times I believe that our nation (America) is sitting in front of a big TV and slowly forgetting what else is happening around us. Why would the enemy tear the army from the TV ceasing any action? Sounds like a good plan.

Anyway, these are undigested and un-thorough thoughts at this moment.

Interesting Fragments

2006-10-31T11:49:00.000-05:00

Things that have been interesting to me over the course of these past months...

...and so much more...

*?#@!~%

2006-10-24T22:40:00.000-04:00

So this is just a random post to ask a simple/complex question....

What do you think about swearing?

In what context and why do you think swearing is a good and great thing to practice or in what context and why do you sustain from using these certain words?

Is there a difference for those who are in leadership positions to those who are not?

Is it moral, and what makes it moral?

I have my thoughts circulating in my head, yet I want to know your thoughts on this issue. Let's see what you got...

Warmth

2006-10-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

So the temperature has dropped a bit this weekend as I left this place and decided to go to Geneva College to visit old friends and go to my homecoming. It was cold and yet it was so refreshing to be in the familiar. I don't know if it is just the familiarity of the place or the fact that there are some "healthy" relationships that I still have there. People with whom I do not have to preface my sentences to or explain why I am doing what I am about to do.

I've been thinking a lot about how I am tired of the word "community" and how my conception of this word is shaping. How unhealthily (if that is a word) we idolize community as opposed to creating community that pushes people to go and do not just to stay and build.

Hence why I stood ontop of the ropes course this weekend, the place that has shaped, changed, and molded me in so many differnt ways, and I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. As the tear rolled down my face I realized how good these memories are to me. It was a moment of God filling me up so much that I had to overflow somewhere. The people and events will forever be with me, but it is so nice to breath it all in every once and awhile...

I sit now in a very cold apartment, refusing to turn on heat yet and remise about this weekend. I long to be there and not to be pushed here...but as a good friend of my said once "who am I to think that college was the only good thing God has for me." I like to think of those years as stepping stones into and in what God is doing overall...they were some darn good stepping stones though, I must say.

Try Again?

2006-09-28T22:59:00.000-04:00

So now I'm a barista at a local coffee shop (www.thecommonplacecoffeehouse.com) and a campus minister on a campus of 14,000 undergrad students. This is quite a bit different than the place I graduated from just past May. The sense of apathy is thick and the longing to be known is evident. But don't we all long to be known and to be pursued?

Coffee shops are interesting places to run to in order to be alone, to "get away from the busyness of life" when in fact we gather there to be around people, to be in the presence of others. I do this consistently, I think anyone who lives alone can understand this concept. But what is it?

I was behind the counter the other day and I asked myself "do all these conversations mean anything. Do they spur us into action or are they just circular debates/topics that never end?" I don't think they are pointless, but some of them are just conversations that try to prove that we know something, or that we are somebody (who we truly are not).

I guess that is just the human behavior, not so much the coffee shop atmosphere. When you congregate people you congregate the human condition.

NEW ALIAS

2005-02-23T10:30:00.000-05:00

I failed at this site...but I switched over to xanga for awhile because I find it easier to post the music i'm playing and i secretly, sort of, like the compartmentalized box that has everything at my fingertips--i guess i'm just computer/html dumb. Well, i'll try it out...may be back here shortly.

Sorry for the lack of posts...

A good seat and some Perkins

2005-02-11T09:17:00.000-05:00

I just had the priviledge to sit down at a small breakfast with John Perkins. He is a man, who's passions have been rooted in justice and reconciliation. Last night he addressed the topic of "When the foundation is being destroyed what can the righteous do?" So many good things were said in such a short amount of time.

Perkins stated that we have become an individualistic institution...even the mere fact of driving 30 minutes or miles to go to our churches. Values are related through individuals in society and we have lost sense of those values and relationships. One of the most important problems is the community and those families in the communities--are families not suppost to help families out, but we have become so diconnected. Even looking at the churches within the communities, Perkins stated, "How can the church go forward in this homogeneous state?" At breakfast this morning he stated that we need to have a common goal a common problem to work together. I am relating this to four church within downtown "ghetto" Beaver Falls, an oppressed community that has and is suffering, that are gettting together and talking about reconciliation. Perkins made it known to us that we will find stuff we do not like about each other when we work together, but we must find a common problem within the community to work thoughly. In other words, there will always be differences.

Taken all of this into account, I question. If i want to do family and marriage counseling, why not do community and family development? That seems to be more where I am headed. I see the importance of family and yet a huge stress or benifactor of the family is the community in which they live. A felt need and a solid one, which i think would be challenging to work on.

Any thoughts would be great.

Are We Running in Fear?

2005-02-06T10:18:00.000-05:00

So this blog drives me crazy, don't know how to post pictures and i'm horrible at typing just the link. Any help would be appreciated.

Anyways...

So I sat up in bed last night for a long time just thinking. Thought about what fear is? Fear of things, not so much a "nightmare" fear. What is it that causes people, like myself, to run from many things in life. I am being very vague here I know. I heard a sermon once, where the pastor talked about how we are afraid of God's love. We are afraid to be accepted and in that fear we run from love. Total acceptance and real love, i believe, means the ugly parts of us too.

Thanks to one of my classes, i had the privlege of reading a book by Parker Palmer (the title has completely slipped my mind...granted that was read about two years ago). Within the few pages Palmer talks about the shadows that we cast. The depths below, that we need to crawl in, to work through the muck. Go in the depths in order to come out again and understand what we project on others. To be aware and yet be responsible for the new knowlege (and maybe i'm wrong on that description of the book). Yet i loved the book because it introduced me to a lot. Every since, I wrote a horrible paper on the book, because i didn't understand it at the time, I have been determined to re-write my paper and ask the question, "what shadows do i cast?" My determination has been somewhat dwindiling, yet the actions of discovery is still alive.

Why is it, that everything pulls me away from what is most important...prayer and silence. The One who loves me the most is the one i avoid the greatest sometimes. Yet when there is that time, it is the most valuable time ever spent. Why do we run from the Father who loves us the most? Fear of actually being loved when we honestly do not deserve it. Interesting.

Not a complete thought yet, but I just felt like posting....

This would be a good conversation over a cup of coffee (oh well)

2005-01-24T16:20:00.000-05:00

My good friend Keith www.keithmartel.blogspot.com addresses a very good point about beaver falls, the comments are good food for thought. He is basically talking about a place for Geneva College students to go. Besides driving to Starbucks for a good 20min.. Are not coffee shops suppost to be a local place to sit and relax and unwind, or perchance study...a good place to WALK to??

Boring

2005-01-24T16:05:00.000-05:00

SO I realized how boring my site was, and possibly this is why I have told few people about it. I can't figure out the whole picture deal or any of that, so I stick to the old way of things. Possibly my posts will not remain dull. I hope to not be ignorant of them.

However, I planned on typing my whole wide range of thoughts or hopefully poems over break, yet my break was so wonderfully filled with conversation that I rarely got online, let alone a blog site.

I believe on of the most drastic revelations over this break was two things. First one was prayer, and the complete absence that comes with that word. But I realize the importance more, but most importantly what stems from that is this question? WHY DON'T WE PRAY (or should I say, Why don't I pray as I should?) My answer for myself and my second thought is PRIDE. I don't know if this is just something that I am learning and all of you have already overcome. But I see pride as a huge issue. Why do I think that I can get throughout my day without talking to God? What make me so sure that I can take care of myself? For surely this air coming in and out of my lungs can cease at any given moment. Not to be so horribly morbid here, but it's true.

I believe it was conversations with my brother about humility that got this thought process rolling. But "God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble." what does this mean. Not to think lowly of yourself, but to see ourselves in the eyes that He sees us out of...To work through His grace. We deserve nothing, yet He constitanty gives us everything. Quite amazing.

I guess the best parts of my break were sitting in Eatin Park till four in the morning with old friend and the car ride with my brother, who is a man I greatly admire. Learning happens in odd ways, and yet those are significantly beautiful

(sorry about the spelling errors)

Cookie Cutters, Anyone?

2004-12-09T16:36:00.000-05:00

So started my car and drove. I often hate these trips and I dread them, yet i agrue with the saying, "sometimes you just have to give in." Cheap prices, always low and everything at your fingertips. Maybe part of my frustration with this mega shopping center (coughwalmart) on this particular day, was the fact that i forgot my list and had to go back to my car, them possibly the fact that after entering again i had to turn around (after halfway in the store) and go get a cart, then maybe the truth that i couldn't FIND anything within the store, hence my final frustration after tired feet and heavy hands (from basket i got) i forgot my wallet (another trip to the car). Now i can blame my experience an all of this and yet there is something about this place that wards me away time and time again.

I can easily say the mega structure has depleted all the mom and pop stores. I can complain about the massive parking lot and the huge plastic structure and hurl (to put it lightly). Yet i believe there is much more to it than this. Let me talk atmosphere. Walking through it seemed stale, massive advertisement ploys, and people in blue with "May I help you" jackets. Upon asking numerous employees about where i can find cookie cutters--i got tossed left and right and believe i managed a good five miles today. Lastly i got told by a lady in the craft department that they were three rows down on the left and (almost rudely) "they are for all season, that's all we got." For which she returned to talking to her co-workers. Frustrated at this point I grabed some stupid train and stars (so long for christmas cheer). Upon leaving the store, my point was proven distinctly. When i left i gave my best effort to smile and make eye contact to the lady who greets upon entering and leaving. She steadly remained "busy"...when i reached a point of passing beyond that zone of contact she was able to push out a simple "have a goodnight." Not only was it impersonal, but i would rather have nothing at all i believe.

After this disturbing stop, i went into downtown Beaver Falls to pick up some De'Angile's donuts for a friend of mine. Not only upon entering did i get a hello from the small shop but i was able to hold a steady conversation and laugh a little with the employees. What makes these two store's demeanors so different?

So, where do we buy groceries, where do we buy those simple necessities? When i was in Europe it was easy to walk down the street and go to the open air markets, at a fairly reasonable price. They had small grocery stores, yet nothing so elaborate and plastic looking. Walking through Italy the store were as small as a simple bathroom. They were not over stuffed with merchandise. I saw one store where probably only three people could fit inside, guess that doesn't leave room for unavoidable eye contact! The structure was beautiful, simple and yet so genuine. There is something to size, something to window shopping, and something to interaction.

and i still need cookie cutters...

Does Consumption Equal Freedom

2004-12-09T07:55:00.000-05:00

Sitting in my usual backrow seat in Brad Frey's class yesterday, we were discussing the book Freaks, Geeks, and the Cool Kids (such a good title) by Murray Milner, Jr., for our Deviant Behavior class. The book is basically summing up everyone's typical highschool experience. Milner reflects status powers, and cliques through the Indian Caste system:

"In traditional India, members of one caste did not usually marry or eat with members of another caste. The higher status castes tended to minimize their contact with lower castes and expected to be treated with deference by those from lower castes. These patterns are common for teenages...Instead of sharing simply a common economic or political location, members of a status group share a common lifestyle, that is, common patterns of consumption and use of common symbols and rituals..."

How, almost, exact is this system to the "normative" highschool lifestyle? There are some objections from those who went to small schools, or, like my friend, who was the most popular in her school to the nerdiest in her school (she was homeschooled). Anyways, there is a bit of reality in this caste system everywhere either in small or large outlandish batches.

In class, however, we picked at this consumer idea. Milner pointed out that, "Some postmondern theorist see advertising not as manipulation or even as a necessary nuisance, but as a central and legitimate part of contemporary popular culture." Bascially these theorist are saying that advertisment is what the world is, this is who we are, stop complaining and accept it (our schemes and ploys will never change--it's a way of life)! (as Brad Frey tried to point out and analogy he said-- it's like the American view of abstinence, saying that it is of the past and things have changed so just accept it).

Milner goes on about this idea of consumerism through a postmodernist view.

They say, "Consumption is not seen as frivolous activity but something with 'emancipatory potential.' It is a key aspect of personal and social identity formation....it is a means of shaping how they define themselves and what constitues an appropriate lifestyle for that self--because choosing and creating one's own lifestyle is seen as the crucial form of 'emancipation.'"

So sum this up, postmodernist believe that consumerism is freedom (at this point my ears sort of purked up in class). Freedom to be who you want to be with what you buy. Now stop for a second here. I can see their point (a small dim light of it). Yet who, at one time or another in their life (and still so), bought something that adapts to one's character--or what one's desires their character to be? And how many times do we not buy something because it may harm or hinder that desired identitiy? My point being that buying things does form an identity--who has compartmentalized someone by their music or the clothes they wear (it's a natural human characteristic--sinful or not...it's still there).

Freedom. Talking to Brad about this after class, i told him, "I can see this idea of identity and can somewhat agree with the postmodern view BUT i believe the more we consume the more we are bounded by them. To have everything we want and more slowly takes over who we trully are and tied down we become." I wish people in the class had more to say about this subject, but the conversation in class ended with me not fully thinking and raising my hand, to say "i find it a bondage" at this point Brad was still looking at me waiting for more. But i said, "yeah...umm that's all--i just think it is a bondage...." There goes some brains for you. Hence my conversation after the class, because the topic seemed left in the air and i was unsure of his view.

Now i am just appaled at the idea that theorist could contrive such a view. Yet more so, I realize how this thought could (and has) slowly creep into our society and honestly taken hold. Buy more because you will be free...it fits you...or as my mother has said numerous times, "allyson, these look just like you!"

So what is freedom (that is for a whole other day, i guess)...

Time is Short

2004-12-01T16:48:00.000-05:00

As of right now I am sipping some Italian early grey tea and trying to get caught up on many things in my life at this moment. I will soon be posting some true thoughts on my Italy trip and in once sense or another, the ways this one week trip has spurred some interesting sociological thoughts as well as experiential thoughts... (hopefully i will not fail in my trying to transfer the epiphanies in my head to the page). The lack of post may be a habit I have formed until i have time...

The world we engage in and a bit of Italy

2004-11-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

Listening to "A bit of wind" by the Fruit Bats

Well here I am, still unknowing about this site, and definatly should be studying for my Bible 300 class, on a little book called, Eyes Wide Open. If anyone has ever read that book i would enjoy some feedback... I was talking to my friend susan wilderman last night about the test coming up today. We talked about how we had a bias about the book before we even started to read it. Maybe it was the poor artwork on the cover or the "classic" youth ministry book. I am still unsure of this bias and where it came from. And probably got more out of the book that i would like to admit. However, we talked about this line that one draws between engaging in society or warding the evils that come along with this culture. To me the book is lacking in this truth of being grounded. I would never give the book away for someone to read unless i know that they are diserning and find their worth in themselves. The book can be an excuse for one to engage and enjoy the pleasures of this world and slowly but surely i believe we can become consumed to the point where we look back and wonder how we ever got to were we are.

Along this line, i was sitting in our lovely brigadoon studying for this lovely test and caught myself watching the tv a little as i was listening to my music. I saw images of heavier set people in some reality tv show (the one's that have overcome our television screens). They were competing between some other group and had to work out, even to the point where one lady was sent to the hospital in tears. They want to lose weight obvisously--and that is what the program is set up for, but I have this thought... They lose weight to find their identity and the show is helping them do that, but shouldn't they find their identity first before they lose their weight? This bothered me extremely... for there was one scene where they are a personal trainer helping the heavier set people, she was skinny and wearing next to nothing--it was a visual of how one "should" be, SKINNY and PRETTY. A visual slap in the face i believe for those trying to lose weight. THis is why reality tv drives me almost insane. Our world has it all backwards.

On that thought i am going to be gone, off to Italy. A little nervous about stepping out into the unknown. But wonderfully blessed by the opportunity. I have waited for so long to be over there, and here is my chance. Challenges are good and i am glad i am willing to step out into them. So Italian soil here i come...

These Random Thoughts

2004-11-12T21:25:00.000-05:00

Guess i will just tell of these thoughts for they are snarling as they beat on these walls that contain their very being-my very being. They spit and they rattle as they do somersaults causing dizziness. Swirling with each agitation. The thoughts of peace, tranquility, frustration, irritation. Guess they fight with each other. They are opposites trapped in the darkness. I will just tell of these thoughts as they randomly disquiet my very soul. The ideas may be hard to clasp...hard to hold for they are fiesty and only these typings could merely do justice on bringing them to life. Guess thoughts must be placed somewhere. These four walls would collapse under such pressure...

First is First

2004-11-12T20:41:00.000-05:00

I have no clue what i am doing, so this process is very slow...any sugestions or ideas on how to get pictures and what not on this thing, just let me know....