Monday, June 25, 2007

These Tiny Rooms

I'm packing up all my belongings. Little by little this place is no longer home. It was almost a year ago that I found this tiny apartment, almost a year ago that I entered this town and started my life in a brand new place. Looking back I remember the days upon days that I wept uncontrollably. I remember being alone in this apartment, afraid, and adjusting to everything new. I look back and laugh cause I remember the moments where I danced, wrestled with scripture, talked out loud to myself and God, and sat upon my roof with cups of tea.

It is strange to hear me say that I am going to miss this little place; where the ceiling is seven feet high and the stove is two feet wide. It is sad to leave this place because I feel that it knows my struggles and joys. I know that the new house will prove to be a challenge, a blessing, a struggle, and a wonderful change. It will know my struggles and joy and thankfully so will another human being. I can talk to someone else and not just the walls around me. This will be good and yet I still and must morn all the things I wish I would have done here: sit on the roof more often and walk up the hill behind my house to see the sun set a bit more.

Goodbye tiny apartment with it's tiny rooms and small wall compartments that I loved. Goodbye and thank you for treating me so well over the course of a very hard year.

Friday, June 22, 2007


This particular song has been on repeat for the past couple of days. I am currently planning to speak tonight at a fellowship group. I was asked to speak on Hebrews 11, one of my favorite passages in scripture. I believe this song has some powerful resemblance to the text, I believe that the civil rights movement (referencing the MLK piece in the title and the meaning within the song) has a heavy parallel to what faith is and what it means to live. Maybe I'll explain it better tonight and more on here when I have time. But if you could take a listen, this song is located on myspace:

"Up To The Mountain (MLK Song)" By Patty Griffin

I went up to the mountain
Because you asked me to
Up over the clouds
To where the sky was blue
I could see all around me
I could see all around me

Sometimes I feel like
I've never been nothing but tired
And I'll be walking
Till the day I expire
Sometimes I lay down
No more can I do
But then I go on again
Because you ask me to

Some days I look down
Afraid I will fall
And though the sun shines
I see nothing at all
Then I hear your sweet voice, oh
Oh, come and then go, come and then go
Telling me softly
You love me so

The peaceful valley
Just over the mountain
The peaceful valley
Few come to know
I may never get there
Ever in this lifetime
But sooner or later
It's there I will go
Sooner or later
It's there I will go

Thursday, June 14, 2007

New(s) Breifs ?

Laughing at my brother's post the other week, this news-brief caught my attention. It's sort of funny but kind of makes some sense.

Looking at BBC news, which I think is great, you can click on the countries that you want to find the latest news and headlines. It's interesting to look at America and see headlines like the the one above, technology and how to stay safe from hackers, and how money talks. Then you can read about the latest fad, spoiled toothpaste, ect ect. It's quite interesting to then link to other countries and read headlines like: Army 'kills' Nigerian militants, Mass rescue of 'slaves' in China, or various others. It's true, I can pick and choose what headline I decide to link and maybe there are everyday life things in these other countries that are just as senile or even beautiful like those in America.

My 'good friend' stated today that "all blogs are bias" ...I must agree. So here is another bias blog to fill your bias mind on what is in the headlines in America and other countries. How we emphasize money, fame, and technology and other places emphasize war, bombings, slaves, and leaders. Not to say that other countries don't portray what we do....but I must keep with my blogging one-sidedness.

What have you seen in the news lately?

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


I took my work to the park yesterday. It was the perfect temperature to sit outside and get work done without being distracted by my computer, my music, or my phone. I sat next to the lake where it was almost empty because everyone else was at their appropriate place of work; except some high school students who where cussing fish left and right as they carried their fishing poles all around the lake.

After work, I moseyed down the road. I passed a picnic that was mainly made up of Elderly people, I desperately wanted them to offer me some of their hot dogs and burgers. I wanted to talk with them and join in the conversation, or make conversation for that matter. I daydreamed about that scenario for a bit of my walk. Then I reach my goal....

I put my bag down and sat in the swing. Looking slightly to my right I saw the sun hitting off the lake and the hillside....I swung as high as I could go before I got slightly dizzy (that happens to me a lot). It was great fun and I felt like I was four years old again.

I believe this needs to happen more often. We need to play more. I swung and pondered this concept of play and how it restores us. There is something really important to swinging on swings and daydreaming of scenarios. Of chuckling at yourself and having fun in the process.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Goodbye Junior

So I am suppose to be doing a lot of work right now. But as everyone knows it is mandatory and inevitable that we will always be distracted, even if it is self-inflicted. So be it.

In my distractions this early afternoon, I wanted to post about a new purchase and another dull step into adulthood. Yes I traded in Junior (as I so lovingly called my blue ford focus) for a Subaru Impreza Sport, 05'. Junior was not a Jr. anymore, quite the opposite. He was becoming a feisty old man who sporadically staled on me a few times, decided to no longer provide air conditioning, and did not want to cruise with his cruise control. There are a myriad of other issues that Junior was developing and in that I decided he needed to go elsewhere on his journeys with, of course, a blessing. I did like that little blue guy. He was faithful and diligent. In his formation of arthritis I did not want to hurt him anymore. So we parted ways, it was a sad moment in history. Me and him go way back, there are a lot of memories there...

So I was at the dealership deciding whether or not to make the trade. Key phrase, "I was still deciding", when in fact my father went there with full intentions to make the trade...period. There was a LARGE list of "how's" running through my head. Like, How am I going to be able to pay for this? or How come we need to pay with money, can't I barter or something!? Anyway..the deal was done and I'm sending my check in the mail today. These things make me nervous, especially when it happens so quickly. I am learning about down payments and upfront payments and blah blah blah....

I told my mother I can't wait to go to heaven, and not be so burdened by money and these things. She said "I can wait for you to go to heaven!" I was touched, but assured her that I meant, " I can't wait for us all to be in heaven together".... later in retelling that story to my father, she added a piece by saying "I can wait for you to go to heaven, I don't want you leaving us all your car payments!"

There it is. Now I need a new name for my silver Subaru.... any thoughts? It took me five yrs to name Junior. Maybe he will remain nameless for awhile, until something memorable happens.